


So Can We Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Plausible Deniability [8]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Background Arin Hanson/Holly Conrad, Background Dan Avidan/Holly Conrad, Background Dan Avidan/Holly Conrad/Ross O'Donovan, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, original child character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 03:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14535729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: 'cause everyone believes me when I say it's mine.Arin realizes that Brian has a crush on him. But is he going to do anything about it?





	So Can We Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saiq2004](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiq2004/gifts).



> This takes place between my fics _Road Shenanigans_ and _Well, It's Not In A Box_! A little interlude, as it were.
> 
> Edited by onewarmline! Thank you, babe!

Arin flopped back into his own bed, and he groaned.

"That fucking tour bus was murder on my back," he told Suzy solemnly, as Mimi climbed up onto his chest. He stroked down the cat's back, pausing to scratch her right at the base of her tail.

Mimi purred and wriggled, her tail twitching, and Arin leaned forward to kiss her on her little head. "I missed you…"

"You didn't miss me?" Suzy was pouting as she flopped down next to him, her head on his shoulder.

"Babe," said Arin, "you were there with me. We fucked at least once on that bus."

"Well, yeah," said Suzy, "but we weren't able to... you know, do the thing."

"The thing?" Arin's voice was teasing, and he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. "Which thing?"

"What do you mean, ‘which thing’?"

"I mean," said Arin, "the two of us fucked a few times on that tour…"

"Well, yeah," Suzy sighed. "I missed not being ‘on’ all the time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," said Suzy. "God, it feels good to be able to not wear makeup while around the house."

"You've had sex with almost every person who was on the bus," Arin pointed out. "They've all seen you without makeup on."

Suzy made a vague hand gesture, and Arin grinned, echoing the hand motion.

Suzy stuck her tongue out at him.

He kissed her loudly on the temple.

She sighed and snuggled up to him, her head on his chest again. 

"I'm glad to be home," he said. 

"Me too," Suzy agreed. 

Arin finally relaxed into the warmth of her body pressed against his own, his chest rising and falling. She shifted until she was on top of him, her head under his chin, and he rubbed her back. 

"That was exciting, but I'm glad we're done with exciting."

"We're never done with exciting," Arin said, his tone thoughtful. “We kind of signed up for that when we started the company.” 

He was aware that he sounded resigned to it, but that was life. 

"What do you mean ‘we’, exactly?" Suzy's voice was teasing.

Arin snorted. "Guilty as charged.”

"Still, we're both internet people. There’s always something exciting," Suzy said, and she sighed again. "I think Brian has a crush on you, you know."

"We are, and there is," Arin agreed, and then his brain caught up with the words. "Wait, what was that second thing?"

"I think Brian has a crush on you," Suzy said again.

"Why do you think Brian, of all people, has a crush on me?"

"He keeps shooting you vaguely lovesick looks," said Suzy. 

Arin couldn't entirely place her tone. "You sure you're not just reading into it?" 

He tried to keep his voice neutral. Suzy had dealt with some jealousy issues when they'd started out with polyamory, and things were better now than they had been, but there were still a few... difficulties.

"Maybe I am," Suzy said, and she sounded self conscious. "But still, I think you should say something to him."

Arin squeezed her, pulling her a little closer. “What would you want me to say to him?"

“Well.” Suzy looked up at the ceiling, clearly avoiding eye contact. "I'd be okay if, uh... if you’re interested in him. So you could tell him that."

"And I’d tell him that because–?"

"Well," Suzy said, still speaking to the ceiling, "you've clearly got, like, a dad fetish."

"A dad fetish," Arin repeated, deadpan.

"Between Brian and Dan, yeah," said Suzy.

"Dan wasn't a dad when I got together with him," Arin pointed out.

"He was a proto-dad," Suzy countered. "You know. The larval form of dad."

"That may be the most unappealing thing I've ever heard," Arin said after a beat, and he made a face.

Suzy giggled. "You don't watch enough horror movies," she informed him.

"I hate horror movies," he reminded her.

”I know," said Suzy, "but if you watched them, you'd be less shocked when you heard the weird shit."

Arin snorted. "I think you're underestimating how much weird shit I see in my day to day life. We're both internet pseudo-celebrities, after all."

"I've got more weird porn about me than you do," Suzy countered with some authority.

Arin made a thoughtful noise. "You think so?"

"At least they don't make fucking photo manipulations of you," Suzy said, and she shuddered.

"You’ve got me beat there," Arin agreed. He'd seen those, and they were unpleasant to say the least. “I do get a _lot_ of blowjobs from Dan, though.”

"True to life.” Suzy snuggled in to Arin like one of their cats. "Brian totally has a crush on you, for sure."

"Even _if_ he does," said Arin, sounding doubtful, "where would he find the time to actually do anything about it?"

Suzy made a curious noise. "What do you mean?"

"He's got a marriage and a kid and a music career," said Arin. "When would he have the time to put the moves on me and start with the courtship dancing?"

"Courtship dancing," Suzy echoed flatly.

"Yeah, you know. Doing the whole song and dance with colorful tail plumage in an attempt to woo me for mating purposes."

"Oh my god," groaned Suzy, holding on to his shirt and on the edge of giggles. "Now I can't stop imagining Brian as like, one of those fucking birds that builds up the bower, in that one meme."

"Which meme?"

"‘Do you want some fuck?’" said Suzy, and her voice broke as she began to laugh, a full-on belly laugh, rolling around on the bed and cackling up at the ceiling.

Arin grinned, and he poked her in the ribs.

Suzy made an indignant noise, and then she poked him back.

Poking devolved into a tickle fight, and they both ended up sweaty in each other's arms, still cackling like loons.

"I'd be okay with it," Suzy panted, out of breath.

Arin looked up at her, his brows furrowing with confusion. "Okay with it?"

"You and Brian getting together," said Suzy. "I'd be okay with it."

"You would?"

"I think so," said Suzy. She took a deep breath, and she was blushing, just a bit. "You haven't... you know, run off with Dan, or Holly, or anyone else."

Arin nodded. “Definitely still here.”

"You're not gonna just abandon me." 

“Definitely not,” Arin agreed, and he settled her closer to him. They would have to shower soon - they still smelled like the bus and now they were more than travel gross.

“I know those things, like, objectivcally,” said Suzy. “But you know how anxiety can be.”

“Yeah,” said Arin, and he kissed the top of her head. “It’s a total ass pain.”

She sighed, relaxing into him, and the bits of him that had been jostled by all the traveling finally settled down. 

They were home.

He could take whatever the world would throw at him.

* * *

Three days later, Arin was in his office when Brian poked his head around the door.

“Hi,” said Brian.

“Hey,” said Arin, and he looked up from his screen. “What’s up?”

“Um.” 

Arin raised an eyebrow at the less-than-articulate reply, and some of the conversation he’d had with Suzy about Brian’s supposed crush came back to him.

No way. Brian was so… cool. 

Collected.

Mature.

Okay, that one wasn’t right.

Still, there was no way that he could have a crush on Arin. Sure, maybe Brian treated him differently than other people in the office, but he _was_ technically the boss. Maybe he went easier on Arin because he thought that Arin was sensitive.

And could write pink slips.

This was not getting him anywhere.

“Um?” Arin prompted, trying to sound casual.

Easier said than done.

“Would you like to go to lunch with me?”

“Sure,” said Arin, because that was a thing they sometimes did. Nothing out of the ordinary there. 

“Great.” Brian kept standing there, looking slightly uncomfortable.

Arin looked at him expectantly. “Anything else you need, man?”

“A million dollars and a blowjob, if you’re offering,” Brian replied promptly, and there was the usual snark.

“If you want me to give you a blowjob, you need to stop loitering in the doorway,” Arin said, his tone light, not entirely a joke but not quite a proposition.

Brian actually flushed red and swallowed, and _that_ was unexpected.

What had Dan said about Brian dishing it out, but being unable to take it?

“I’ll come back in about an hour and a half. For lunch,” Brian said, in a slightly choked off voice.

“Sounds good,” said Arin, and then he was alone, and it was back to typing.

He probably needed to text Suzy about this, as he thought about it. 

And Holly.

And he’d have to ask Dan if he was okay with … whatever.

Arin groaned, putting his face in his hands. This was so much easier when he was just married and crushing on his best friend, who was also a dad, married, and madly, stupidly in love with his wife and his… co-husband.

He needed to sort this out.

But then, was there even a “this” to sort out?

Suzy could get territorial on occasion, though he was damned if he knew why. He wasn’t that great; it wasn’t like there was a line around the block for him, looking the way he did–

Arin stopped that line of thought before it went any longer. He was kicking the habit of negative self talk. Truth be told, it was less that he was “kicking the habit of negative self talk” and more “he got yelled at whenever he went down that road,” but the ends justified the means, right?

Right. 

Arin sighed again, raking his fingers through his hair. He grabbed his phone opened up his messages, and sent the same message three times.

_I’m going to lunch with Brian. I think he has feelings for me. Is that okay?_

Suzy responded first.

_Told you!_

She added a little kissy face emoji, and Arin rolled his eyes lovingly. 

Dan was next.

_Go for it, man._

There was some kind of tone there, but Arin couldn’t place it. Would Dan get jealous?

Was he opening some can of worms that he didn’t know about?

Was he overthinking this, too?

The third chime was from Holly.

_Have fun!_

She didn’t seem to have a jealous bone in her body. Or maybe she was juggling a baby, two husbands, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, God only knew how many animals, _and_ her career, and didn’t have time for overthinking at all. 

Arin smiled a bit, in spite of himself. Sometimes, it was nice to be reminded that he wasn’t entirely that important, in the scheme of things.

Hmm.

Arin took a deep breath, then went back to work.

* * *

Arin emerged from his office at the appointed time, blinking a bit in the brighter light.

His head was fuzzy, the way it always got after he’d been at the computer for a while, and he was tired, but Brian brightened like a firefly when they made eye contact.

Maybe the crush thing wasn’t as far fetched as Arin had thought. Brian had a horrible poker face.

So did Arin.

This was going to be _great_.

“Ready for lunch?”

“Indeed,” said Brian.

What did _that_ mean?

Or did it mean anything?

God, Arin was shit at dating. He rather read too much into things, or he never picked up signals…

He felt a disaster coming their way, but there was no turning back.

* * *

“Did you enjoy the tour?”

Brian was attacking his sandwich like something out of a nature documentary, but stopped with a mouthful to look across the table at Arin. “Hm?”

“The tour,” Arin repeated. “Did you enjoy the tour?”

“Oh,” said Brian. “Yeah, it was good. Minimal craziness.”

“Was there a lot of craziness in the previous tours?”

“I’ve had my share,” said Brian.

“Such as?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” said Brian, his tone benign. “Costumes catching on fire. Sound systems held together entirely with chewing gum and prayer. Groupies throwing themselves at us for the privilege of getting our dicks.”

“I feel like your wife might object to that,” said Arin.

Brian’s expression was unreadable. “Aren’t _you_ making assumptions, Mister Polyamory.”

“It’s less polyamory,” said Arin, “and more that groupies are usually younger, and aren’t really interested in stuff that’s important. Important stuff besides your dick. Not trying to minimize the importance of your d–”

“Fair enough,” Brian interjected, devouring the last of his sandwich. 

“I wouldn’t say no to a few groupies looking at me,” Arin said, borderline wistful. 

“Good luck. They’re almost always throwing themselves at Dan,” Brian said, his tone dry.

“Well, they’re missing out. I think you’re good looking,” Arin said, and Brian was blushing again.

Wow, when had he gotten so forward?

“Sorry,” said Arin, and he was blushing, too, and they were both quite a pair. “That’s probably not really a thing I should just say.”

“It’s fine,” Brian said quickly. “It’s totally fine.”

“I mean, it was kind of awkward,” Arin said, aware that he was making it more awkward but now unable to make it less awkward. 

“Well, in my considerable life experience–”

“You’re not _that_ old,” Arin interjected. 

Brian’s mouth twitched, a smirk clearly suppressed. “So you’re saying I’m only _somewhat_ old?”

“Um. Yes? Or no?” said Arin, and then he paused. “I can’t win here, can I?”

“Unlikely.” 

“I could shout ‘look, there’s a mountain lion!’ and jump out the nearest window while you’re distracted.”

“We’re not close enough to any of the windows,” Brian pointed out, “and we don’t really live in an area that has a lot of mountain lions.”

“Exactly,” said Arin. “It’s the perfect distraction, because everyone would want to see it, since they’re so rare.”

“I suppose,” said Brian. “I think people would be disappointed in you for then depriving them of the mountain lion they were hoping to see.”

“I could… provide a mountain lion.” Arin was aware that he ought to be digging up, and was very much doing the opposite.

Brian squinted at him. “Where would you get a mountain lion?”

“Aren’t there exotic pet suppliers?”

“Sure, but those are pretty unethical.”

“Okay, forget that. Don’t they have, like, mountain lions that they use for outreach? I know they do that with wolves.”

“Outreach?”

“Yeah,” said Arin, and he leaned back into his chair, his expression thoughtful. “Like, ones that have to live in captivity that they can bring to schools and summer camps. Holly explained it to me. It’s a lot easier to empathize and understand something if you’ve experienced it firsthand.”

“Not unlike polyamory,” said Brian. 

That was a conversational leap that left Arin a bit lost. 

“... Pardon?”

“Well,” Brian said, eyes now on his empty plate, “you and Dan were the first polyamorous people I really knew.”

“Technically, Dan and Holly were the first polyamorous people that you knew,” said Arin. “I got into it kinda late in the game, all things considered.”

“Not that late,” said Brian. “You’re younger than me.” 

Arin shrugged. “There are probably people older than you getting into all of this.”

“Still,” said Brian. “You’re my friend. I… trust you to tell me if I was doing something wrong.” 

Arin flushed; this was a level of emotional sincerity that he hadn’t exactly expected. To be blunt, he didn’t expect emotional sincerity from Brian in general. The guy was all troll, and alright, he had to have some kind of soft gooey center from the way his wife and daughter adored him, but he’d never shown it to Arin.

“Right,” said Arin, and he took a bite of his own neglected sandwich.

“Rachel has a date on Wednesday,” Brian said after a moment, his nonchalance somewhat strained.

“Yeah?” Arin swallowed, then took a sip of water. “You guys going anyplace fun?”

“ _We’re_ not going,” said Brian, and he was turning pink. “ _She’s_ going. I’m staying home with Audrey. We’re probably going to watch Moana again.”

“How many times have you seen that movie now?”

“Enough,” Brian said firmly. 

“So, uh… you nervous or something?”

Brian sighed. “We’ve done a _lot_ of talking, about how I feel about it, how she feels about it, how it’ll affect our parenting. We’ve been thinking about this stuff for a while, especially since Dan and Holly started being more open, but, well, child-rearing.”

Arin just nodded.

“But then Wren came along, and Ross and Holly and Dan seem to be doing pretty well, so we decided to… try it out.”

“Sure,” said Arin, and his head was spinning just a bit. This was more of Brian’s internal monologue than he could ever remember receiving.

“The thing is, it’s weird, because I don’t exactly… Well, everyone I know who’s polyamorous is… busy.”

“Busy?” 

“Besides,” Brian continued, ignoring the question, “I couldn’t fuck Dan at this point. It would be too weird.”

“Too weird?” Arin knew he was just parroting, but it was the best he could do.

“I’m on stage with him all the time, and then I’d look at him and I’d remember what his dick tasted like,” Brian explained. “How can you do a duet with someone when you know what their dick tastes like?”

“I’ve been on stage with Dan,” Arin said, “and I definitely know what his dick tastes like.”

“And it’s not weird?”

“Okay, sometimes it’s weird,” Arin conceded. “Like, he’ll say something, or he’ll start laughing, and then he does this… _thing_ , and all I can think is that his face does that same look when he cums.”

“What, really?”

“Uh, I mean,” Arin said, and he was back in whatever hole he’d been trying to dig out of. 

“You mean?” Brian asked with a straight face.

Jerk.

“Dan has very expressive features,” Arin said weakly.

“He does,” Brian agreed, as if observing the weather outside.

“So… you know.”

“I know?”

“You know.”

“Right.” 

There was an awkward silence, and there was only question Arin could think to fill it with. “So, are you interested in polyamory?” 

Shit, this was worse than elevator conversation. 

“I’m kind of interested,” said Brian. “Are you going to eat your chips?”

“Huh? Oh, sure, go for ‘em.” Arin watched as Brian inhaled his chips, leaning back into the seat. “What, uh… what kind of partner are you looking for?”

“Hm?”

“You said you’ve been interested in polyamory for awhile,” said Arin, “which makes me, you know, think that you’ve got someone in mind.”

“What do you mean, someone in mind?”

“I just mean… when a lot of people realize they want to do the whole polyamory thing, it’s because they have a specific person that they’re interested in, not just because there’s a sudden interest in polyamory. Although sometimes there is a sudden interest in polyamory, so. Um.”

Brian looked at him steadily, one eyebrow up.

“... please stop looking at me like that,” Arin said, wilting under the gaze.

Brian was smiling like a goddamn cat to a canary. “Like what?” 

"Like _that_ ," Arin said, accusatory.

"Like _what_?" Brian was just taunting him now.

"Like you're gonna eat me alive," Arin said with a laugh, aware of how nervous it sounded, not sure how to turn that off.

"Do you want me to eat you alive?" Brian asked, managing to keep a straight face. It must have been all that ninja training.

"I mean, if you were eating me while I was dead, I wouldn't really enjoy it," said Arin. "I can't really feel it if I'm dead."

"You never struck me as a vore fan," Brian said. 

"I've got many layers," said Arin. "I could be interested in vore."

"That'd be just about the only fetish of yours that you haven't mentioned on Game Grumps," Brian said, still maddeningly conversational.

"Are you judging me?"

Arin's hackles were up.

Metaphorically. 

He didn't have actual hackles, although the hair on the back of his neck was beginning to rise. 

Why was he so touchy? Was he even mad at Brian, or just easily riled up? His heart was beating very fast in his ears, and he was sweating, from his pits, his chest, his palms.

"I mean," said Brian, "it takes all types to make our world," and then he made a face.

"What's up?"

"Audrey has discovered the _Land Before Time_ sequels," said Brian, and he looked slightly annoyed. "I get the songs stuck in my head."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well," said Brian, "that's one of the songs in one of the dumber movies."

"Oh," said Arin. He didn’t remember that.

"You know I'm just yanking your chain," Brian said. "I don't care you that you're into vore.”

"I'm not actually into vore," said Arin.

"Are you saying that there's something wrong with being into vore?"

"I'm not saying that either," Arin said. "But I'm not into it."

"So you wouldn't judge me if I was into vore?"

"Why would I judge you?"

"For it being weird."

"Now who's yanking whose chain?"

"Your chain remains un-yanked," Brian said.

"Wanna do something about that?" The words popped out of Arin's mouth without actually being intercepted by his brain, and he turned bright red.

It was very quiet, and they were suddenly very close without actually moving.

Arin was acutely aware of the space between them, of the way that they were close enough that their knees were brushing together, the way that he could feel the warmth of Brian's leg so close to his own. They were both wearing shorts, and if Arin pressed his leg just a little closer to Brian's, their leg hair would be touching.

That was an oddly specific thing to think about, and then he was thinking about the fact that he was thinking it, and if he kept thinking about the fact that he was thinking about thinking, he was going to get very confused, and possibly walk into a door frame.

"Arin? You okay?"

"I'm great," Arin said, and his voice came out as an actual squeak, which was frankly pretty embarrassing, but fuck it. 

"You don’t look great."

Brian's expression was concerned, and Arin's heart was beating even faster. There were drops of sweat dripping down his back, almost ticklish, sticking to his shirt.

Shit.

This wasn't like with Holly, where he'd grown to realize he liked her, over a period of time, and this wasn't like Dan, who had just strolled up into Arin's jerk off fantasies like he belonged there.

No, this was Brian going from "colleague-slash-employee" to "possible crush" over the course of five minutes maximum.

Arin was too fucking old for this shit.

_Way_ too fucking old for this shit.

He licked his lips, and he gave a slightly weak smile to Brian, who gave him a worried one back.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"You ever have a sudden realization about something really important,” said Arin, “but it's like a cartoon, where you just have a fucking light bulb going off over your head?"

"I've never had a light bulb go off over my head."

"Yeah," said Arin, "you're old enough that it's probably a gas lamp."

Brian scoffed and flipped the bird.

Arin cackled. "In the future, they're gonna call that a ‘Brian high five’, and it'll be a standard greeting.”

"If I'm remembered that fondly in the future, it will all have been worth it," Brian replied.

“Good point," said Arin. 

"So should we get back to the grind?"

"Do you want to run any errands on the way back?"

"I wouldn't say no to some ice cream. It’s easier to eat without a toddler trying to lick it _and_ you.”

"Let's do it," said Arin.

"Are you sure?" Brian looked surprised. "You can't eat dairy."

"It’s fine. I'll get sorbet." 

"If you're sure," said Brian, sounding cagey.

"Sure," Arin said with a shrug. "Sorbet is like, at least sixty percent as good as the real thing."

"Aren't you worried about us being late?"

"Nah, we've got time," said Arin. "Dan is probably washing vomit or piss out of something or other. Not his, hopefully."

"Oh," said Brian. "Well, in that case."

"Ice cream?"

"Let's do it," said Brian. "I like ice cream."

"Who doesn't like ice cream?"

"Vegans,” Brian noted. “And you, now that you're lactose intolerant."

"Oh no, I still love ice cream," said Arin, as the two of them made their way towards the car. "It just doesn’t love me back."

He gave Brian a sidelong glance, and the sunlight caught the blue of Brian's eyes. They glowed like the ice of a glacier, and Arin's heart did a little jump, like some twelve year old kid.

How the fuck was this even supposed to work? 

Arin didn’t know how to do this. But people muddled through it every day, and if everyone else could do it, he could do it, right?

Arin straightened up, and he smiled at Brian in what he hoped was his most charming manner. He had no idea if it actually _was_ , but with these types of things, it was just the thought behind it, right?

Brian smiled back at him, and it was all fucking worth it. 

* * *

They sat outside under an umbrella with their ice cream.

Well, Brian had ice cream. 

Arin ate a cup of raspberry sorbet, and his whole face tried to pucker in on itself in the process, which Brian found the height of hilarity, because of course he did. He was beginning to suspect that anything that caused him harm would amuse Brian.

But the conversation they were having was easy. It shouldn’t have been, especially when Arin’s heart was fluttering every time he made eye contact with Brian. But Brian was actually stuttering occasionally, losing track of whatever it was he was saying. 

“You okay, man?” Arin said, waiting for feeling to come back to his tongue.

“I’m fine.” 

“Yeah? You’re sure?”

“You seem awfully convinced that I’m _not_ fine,” Brian said, keeping his tone flat. 

“Sorry,” said Arin. “I just… worry about people.”

“In fairness,” said Brian, his tone thoughtful, “you _are_ dating Dan, who never takes care of himself.”

“I fuckin’ _know_ , right? It makes me crazy!”

“Do you have to bug him to get sleep?”

“I do, but he doesn’t listen to me.”

“He listens to Holly.”

“Sometimes.”

“I’ve found the trick is to get Wren to fall asleep on him,” said Brian. “Then he can’t move because he’s afraid of her waking up, which is handy to get him to stay still long enough to get him to sleep. It used to work with Audrey, too.”

“I should try that,” Arin mused. “Probably with one of the cats, though. Not a baby.”

“You don’t have a baby to try it with.” 

Arin was fiddling with his plastic spoon, wagging it between his fingers. “Can I ask a weird question?”

“Hm?” Brian looked at Arin, his expression neutral but almost… nervous, inasmuch as Brian ever looked nervous.

“Do you feel closer to Dan? Now that he’s got a daughter, I mean.”

Brian frowned, and Arin’s heart jumped into his stomach. Fuck, he was going to drop dead from all of this up and down.

“I’m honestly not sure.” Brian leaned back into his chair, his hands behind his head, staring up at the umbrella with a thoughtful expression. “I think that Dan relates to _me_ more because now we’re both married parents. But we’re also just older.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“Were you ever in love with Dan?”

Well, _that_ had just popped out of Arin’s mouth, like a fucking gumball after you turned the crank.

Brian shot Arin a sharp look. “Are you concerned that I’m going to sweep your boyfriend off his feet?” There was something that could have been bitterness on the edge of his tone.

“No, no,” Arin said quickly. “It’s just… you know him so well, and he’s so easy to love. Not like me.” 

“You’re kidding, right?”

“What?” 

“Christ, Arin,” said Brian, and he looked genuinely annoyed, which Arin wasn’t expecting. “You’re plenty lovable,” he said, only blushing a little bit. 

“You really think so?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think so,” Brian snapped, and then he looked sheepish. “Sorry.”

“Well, what makes me so lovable, then?”

“You’re… nice.” 

“Gee, thanks,” Arin deadpanned.

“Not like that,” said Brian hastily. “Like, you don’t even have to think about doing the right thing. And yeah, sometimes you fuck up, we all do. But your first instinct is to do the right thing, and you’re generous, and you’re fucking gorgeous, and.. it’s you just generally… great.”

By the time he was done, Brian was blushing.

“So you really haven’t fallen in love with Dan?” Arin was aware that he wasn’t taking the compliment, but he really had to get to the bottom of this.

“I’ve shared a hotel room with him too many times,” Brian answered. 

Arin raised an eyebrow. “Really? It’s the shared living space that did you in?”

Brian only shrugged.

“I can’t help but notice it’s not because because Dan is a guy,” Arin continued, trying to tread carefully. His heart was beating very loudly in his ears.

“You caught me, Arin. I’m not heterosexual,” Brian said, and he sounded faintly amused.

“It was probably wrong of me to assume you were,” said Arin, a little chagrined.

“But since you’re wondering, I’m not interested in Dan that way.”

“Right,” said Arin. “Well. Glad that’s a settled subject. We should head back to the office.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” said Brian.

“Do you want to go on a date? With me?”

Judging by Brian’s face, Arin had actually said that out loud.

Fuck.

“What do you mean by ‘date?” Brian asked, plainly surprised.

“Well,” said Arin, and he licked his lips, because he was fucking doing this now. “I was thinking that, um. I was thinking that we could maybe go to dinner.”

“As in…?” Brian’s face was doing something unreadable.

“As in a dinner date,” Arin repeated. “I could… you know, bring you flowers if you want me to. To make it officially date-like or something.”

Then Brian was laughing, full on laughing, and that wasn’t what Arin had expected. Was Brian laughing at the idea of them going on a date? Had Arin completely misread the situation?

“You don’t have to bring flowers,” Brian said, in what he probably thought was a reassuring tone. “I’m not high maintenance.” 

“I wouldn’t think you were high maintenance if you did want flowers,” said Arin. “In the scheme of things, flowers aren’t that big a deal.”

“What if I desired a rare orchid from far away?” 

“How far away are we talking? And how rare? Because some orchids are, like, super endangered, and I may think you’re cute, but I’m not gonna, like, contribute to the extinction a species.” 

Brian’s face broke into a ridiculous smile, and he was practically beaming at Arin.

Arin flushed, looking at his own hands, suddenly self-conscious.

“You’re adorable, you know that?”

“I do my best,” Arin said, and he licked his lips.

“Your best is very good,” said Brian. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Shall we?”

“Let’s.”

* * *

“I’m an idiot,” Arin whined when he was alone in the Grump room with Dan.

“What did you do this time?” Dan looked as sleep deprived as ever, his short hair springing around his head. 

“I said something dumb,” said Arin.

How exactly was he supposed to tell Dan that he’d had a whole awkward conversation with Brian that ended going on a date with Brian?

He’d mentioned that it was going to be a… thing, possibly, but it was all weird and uncomfortable, and it was all his fault, what was he going to do?

Would Dan judge him?

Fuck, what if this made everything go weird in the company?

“You know, Brian had this huge fucking crisis over the tour,” Dan said casually. 

Arin looked over at him through his fingers. “What?”

“Yeah, he had a pretty significant freak-out,” said Dan, and he was looking faintly amused. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“I’m not laughing,” Dan said defensively. 

“You are, a little bit,” Arin said.

“... okay, a little bit,” Dan conceded. “But not at you.”

“So what’s so funny?”

“He was like, ‘what if I’m being disrespectful by having a crush on Arin?’ It was…” Dan looked like he was choosing his words carefully, but eventually just settled for, “it was something.” 

“Wait, you knew he had a crush on me?”

“ _Has_ a crush on you,” said Dan. “It doesn’t seem past tense.”

Arin glared at Dan. “And you didn’t think to possibly tell me?”

Dan made a defensive gesture with both hands. “Bros before–”

“You wanna think about finishing that sentence?”

“... Right. You know what I mean. He’s my friend, you’re my friend _and_ my boyfriend. And if you’d told me that _you_ had a crush on _him_ , I wouldn’t have told him, either.”

Arin deflated. “Goddamn you, being reasonable,” he grumbled. 

“I know, right?” Dan wrapped an arm around Arin’s shoulders, pulling him closer, pressing a kiss to Arin’s temple.

Arin leaned in to it, and he sighed, letting his eyes drift shut. “I miss your long hair.” 

“I didn’t want Wren to end up with a trichobezoar,” said Dan.

“You know, you could just say giant hairball,” said Arin. 

“Yeah, but how often do I get to use the term trichobezoar in day to day life?”

“Apparently every time someone asks you why you cut your hair,” Arin said, his tone dry.

Dan snorted, a puff of warm air across Arin’s cheek. “You’re overthinking everything,” he said. “You guys like each other. You’re both grown ass adults.”

“I don’t _feel_ like a grown ass adult,” Arin grumbled. “I’m getting fucking butterflies in my stomach. What kind of grown ass adult gets butterflies in their stomach?”

“I do,” said Dan. “I mean, don’t you feel like that whenever you see Suzy?”

“Of course,” said Arin. “But Suzy is easy.”

“I disagree,” said Dan, his cheek growing hot under Arin’s cheek. 

“I dunno,” said Arin, “you guys fell into bed pretty easily.”

“Okay, first off, that was _not_ easy,” said Dan. “And it was a couch.”

“Since when do you get so neurotic about exact phrasing?”

“I’m Jewish. Neurotic is my default setting.”

“... This is like War Games, where the only way I win is to not respond.” 

“Very good,” said Dan, and he patted Arin on the knee. “Now calm down so we can begin this episode.”

“But Brian was really freaking out over me?”

“A whole ass freak-out,” Dan confirmed. “Remember when we got the buckeyes? That was then.”

“Ohio?” That was unexpected. Brian had been his usual acerbic self, hadn’t he?

Come to think of it, Brian _had_ been a lot less spiky.

“I’ve been missing so much shit,” Arin said, faintly in awe of just how ridiculous he was being. “What was he worried about?”

“About shifting from monogamy to polyamory,” said Dan. “About fucking up our, you know, group dynamic. About fucking everything up in general.”

“Oh,” said Arin. That sounded awfully familiar. 

Dan turned Arin’s face towards his own, and he kissed Arin, a soft, sweet kiss. “You’re great, okay?” His voice was very quiet, and his breath was warm against Arin’s lips. 

“Okay,” Arin said quietly.

“And Brian knows it, and he’s just realizing the extent of how great you are.”

“... Okay,” Arin repeated. 

“Good,” said Dan, and he kissed Arin. “We should start.”

“We really should.”

“Then let’s do this shit.”

Dan let go of Arin, and he leaned back into the couch, rubbing his hands together. His ears looked so delicate amongst the curls of his hair, and Arin ran a finger along the rim, just to see Dan shudder.

“That’s not fair,” Dan said, and his voice was thick. 

“If I only played fair, I’d never get anywhere in life,” Arin said cheerily, then he stood up to fiddle with the television. 

“ _What?_ ” Dan was sitting there, looking a little glassy around the edges.

“You heard me,” Arin said, and then he flopped back onto the couch, and took the controller in his hands, beginning to click around. “Got the mics?”

“Got ‘em,” said Dan. 

“Welcome to Game Grumps,” said Arin. “On today’s show, we learn that I am a dumbass.”

“You’re not that much of a dumbass,” said Dan. 

“But you do agree that I’m a dumbass?”

“If the donkey fits.”

“How do you fit a donkey?”

“Oh my fucking god, Arin, it’s too early for this” said Dan, cackling like a hyena.

Arin grinned. This was gonna be a good one.

* * *

It wasn't until Arin had finished his Grump session, gone home, and taken a shower that he realized that he had not, in fact, asked Brian _when_ their date was going to happen.

Arin groaned, turning his face up into the water, and he sighed, letting his eyes close, letting the water patter down on him.

"I'm the biggest idiot in the _world_ ," he said to the bathroom at large.

"Stop being self-reflective so I can pee," Suzy called through the door.

Arin snorted, grinning in spite of himself, and then began to scrub in earnest.

He'd text Brian when he got out. 

* * * 

Brian, it turned out, had texted him. 

Arin's phone was blinking on the bedside table, and he squinted at it to read his message. 

_Rachel and Audrey are going to a birthday party on Sunday. It's not exactly dinner, but it is a chance for food and companionship._

"Hey, Suze?"

"Mmm?" Suzy poked her head around the bathroom door, her makeup half off.

"Is it okay if I go on a date with Brian on Sunday?"

"Sure," said Suzy, and she grinned. "Do you finally believe me?"

"... maybe," said Arin, and he was blushing furiously.

"I told you so," Suzy preened, and then she was back in the bathroom.

Arin snorted, rolling onto his stomach.

_Sounds like a good plan!_

_Looking forward to it,_ Brian sent. 

Arin sighed, and he pressed his hands to his own blushing cheeks.

Why was he so embarrassed? He was romantically involved with three people - it wasn't like he was some kind of blushing virgin or anything like that. 

But still…

Arin sighed again, burying his face into his pillow.

This was all weird and embarrassing, but fuck it. He was going to enjoy himself, if he had to fight himself every step of the way.

* * * 

Arin fretted the week away - he actually _fretted_ , like a character from an eighteenth century novel.

Suzy found it hilarious.

Dan was also amused, although apparently Wren was just starting to walk, which meant he was even more haggard than usual. For all that Dan found parenting emotionally fulfilling, it was doing a number on his looks.

Not that Arin actually... like, noticed much.

He was still Dan - Dan was gorgeous.

Suzy was gorgeous.

Holly was gorgeous.

Brian was gorgeous.

"You know," Arin said on Friday, as he and Dan took a break to eat lunch, "I'm beginning to think that all being queer does is make you realize how attractive everyone is."

"Hm?" Dan said, around his sandwich.

"Was everyone always this attractive, or am I just... like, really queer?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Dan was speaking around a mouthful of bread and cheese.

Arin snorted. "I guess not. What do I even _wear_? I've never done an actual, like, lunch date."

"This is going to come as a surprise, but I think you're overthinking shit," said Dan.

"I must be, if you're the one telling me that," Arin grumbled.

"Hey," said Dan, and he stuck his tongue out at Arin, which still had some food on it.

Arin made a face. "You're gross.”

"Sorry," said Dan. "Consider that revenge for saying I overthink things."

"But you do."

"... I can't really argue with that," said Dan, "but I feel like I should."

“It’s not my place to say,” Arin said serenely.

"But seriously," said Dan, and he put a hand on Arin's knee, squeezing it and looking deep into Arin's eyes like something out of a certain flavor of romantic movie. "Brian has seen you upside down and eating ketchup while wearing harem pants. Why would he be bothered by how you look for a lunch date?"

"There's a difference between doing a stream with your buddies and going on a date with someone who you might have a crush on." 

"Might?" 

"I don't know," Arin said. "Maybe I'm just thinking I've got a crush on him because he's got a crush on me." 

"Care to explain?"

"You know. Someone has a thing for you, so you end up kinda... reciprocating, because you feel like it's a thing that you _should_ do it, even if it isn't exactly what you're feeling."

"Can't say I have," said Dan, his tone cheerful. "But worst case scenario, you get some French toast."

"Why are you being the reasonable one here?” Arin complained. “I don’t like it."

"Because I don't have to worry about you sticking a fork in a light socket or running into the corner of the kitchen table," said Dan. "Being able to talk about things like an adult is _wonderful_."

"Has Wren stuck a fork in a light socket yet?"

"Not for lack of trying." Dan covered his face with both hands. "It's like she read this book of all the ways that babies can do things that will kill them, and then she rubbed her little hands together and tried to try every one of them."

"I mean," said Arin, "didn't you do some pretty dumb stuff when you were a kid?"

"We all do dumb stuff when we're kids," said Dan. "But that was somebody else’s problem, not mine."

Arin snickered.

Dan stuck his tongue out at Arin again.

"You've lost your reasoning skills, man," said Arin. "You keep doing that."

"Lost them, nothing," said Dan. "I'm gauging the maturity of the room and adapting my methods accordingly." 

“Aren’t those a bunch of fancy words,” Arin said, sassing just because he could.

“Oh, shut up.” 

“Wow, good comeback.”

Dan nudged Arin in the shin with his foot.

Arin nudged Dan back.

“Don’t worry about what you wear, or about the food, or whatever. Be yourself and have a good time with your friend.”

“But–”

“Arin, I swear to fucking god, I will stuff this sandwich up your left nostril if you don’t stop obsessing.”

“You wouldn’t waste a sandwich like that.”

“Don’t test me. I am incredibly sleep-deprived.”

“Alright, alright, geez,” said Arin.

Dan took one of Arin’s hands in his own, and he kissed Arin’s knuckles with a loud, smacking kiss. “You’re a great person and I think you’re working yourself up over nothing. Okay?”

“Okay,” Arin conceded.

“And if your brain is chasing itself in circles, remember that Brian developed a crush on you when you were just being yourself.”

“I can try to remember that,” said Arin

“Okay, good,” said Dan.

“You’re good?”

“I’m good.”

* * *

On Sunday, Arin tried to dress nicely. 

Then he realized it looked too overdone, changed into his usual casual outfit, and decided that was too shlubby.

Okay.

He could do this.

Imagine he was going on a lunch date with Suzy.

Okay.

He could do this.

Arin got dressed, and he looked at himself in the mirror, and he didn’t entirely hate what he saw. That was a start.

Now he just needed to not pace.

Suzy, who was having a lie in, watched him from the bed with amusement.

“You’re adorable,” she told him. 

“You’re biased,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.

She kissed him back - she looked like a queen, stretched out on the bed. There was a cat on each side, and Mimi was sitting on her chest.

“Sure, but I’m right,” said Suzy. “Brian likes you. He’s gonna like you regardless.”

“That’s what Dan said,” Arin grumbled.

“Well then, listen to both of us,” Suzy said “because you know we’re right.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Arin kissed Suzy again, then went downstairs and tried not to pace.

He always paced when he was nervous.

Why was he even so nervous?

He was going to meet Brian at the restaurant - he’d done this before. Just… not with Brian. And not in a romantic context.

_Was_ this a romantic context, or was he reading too much into this?

No, they’d talked about flowers. They’d talked about _rare orchids_ , and species extinction, and that had made Brian smile, and then Arin’s own chest had lit up like he’d swallowed the sun.

And now it was time to drive to the restaurant. 

“I’m off,” Arin called up.

“Have fun!” Suzy called back. “Wear a rubber!”

Arin flushed so dark that he was a bit worried he’d pass out. “ _Suzy!_ ” he said, and he was laughing at himself, at how scandalized he sounded.

“I don’t want you catching pregnant,” Suzy teased, coming down the stairs still in her pajamas.

“You weirdo.”

“You’re one to talk.”

He kissed her again, and then he was out, at the car, in the car, driving.

He could do this.

* * *

Brian was looking very fatherly.

Arin’s heart did a little flutter, and he wanted to scold himself for it. 

“Hi,” Arin said.

“Hello,” said Brian, and he was smiling, a bright, wide smile, practically a beam. It hit Arin in the chest, and he had to stop for a second, to catch his breath.

Holy fuck.

“So why did you choose this place?” Arin slid into his seat, scooting closer, until he could rest his elbows on the table.

“They do very good steak and eggs,” said Brian. “Also french toast.”

“French toast?”

“They make it with mascarpone.”

“Sounds fancy,” said Arin. 

“I suppose,” said Brian. “I like it.”

“I’d say that’s a good indicator,” said Arin, “since you seem to have good taste.”

“I seem to?” Brian was being a jerk. In a weird way, that helped. Arin knew how to deal with Brian the jerk, more or less.

“You know what I mean.” 

“Do I?”

“I mean, I assume you do,” said Arin. “Since you’ve got that fancy PhD.”

“It’s a _very_ fancy PhD, thank you,” said Brian. “Although if I’d gotten it in Finland, I would have gotten a fancy hat and a sword.”

“A sword?” 

“A sword,” Brian confirmed, looking smug.

“Why would you get a sword?”

“It’s just a thing there,” said Brian. “When you get a PhD in Finland, you get a fancy hat and a sword.”

“What do you actually _do_ with the sword?”

“Personally, I’d just hang it over my fireplace,” said Brian.

“Do you have a fireplace?”

“I assume that the me that got a PhD in Finland would have a fireplace,” said Brian, his tone thoughtful. “It’s freezing cold there, so it would make sense.”

“Why would you be in Finland in the first place?” Now Arin was chasing this hypothetical Brian, like a dog after a rabbit.

“I don’t know,” said Brian. “I’ve never been particularly good with cold weather.”

“Aren’t you originally from New Jersey?”

“Well, yes, but there’s a difference between New Jersey cold weather and Finnish cold weather,” said Brian. “The ocean _freezes_ there.”

“I didn’t know the ocean could freeze,” said Arin, impressed.

“Sure,” said Brian. “I mean… it can, because water freezes, but it mostly doesn’t.”

Arin nodded.

“Can I ask a weird question?” Brian was looking bashful now. It was always interesting, when Brian’s face did something other than smug or flat. Arin couldn’t always read Brian’s face, although he was getting better at it. 

“What’s up?”

“Do you ever miss cold weather?”

“I don’t really remember much in the way of cold weather,” said Arin. Why was Brian so seemingly embarrassed about this, of all things?

“You mentioned you were born in New Hampshire,” said Brian.

“Oh,” said Arin. “I was really little when we moved, so most of my memories are living in Florida, which doesn’t really have seasons so much as ‘humid and hot’, or ‘ _really_ humid and _really_ hot.”

Brian nodded. “Do you think that living in Florida made you particularly weird?”

“Are you suggesting I’m actually a ‘Florida man’?” Arin grinned.

“I might be,” said Brian, grinning back.

“I actually found out why ‘Florida man’ is a thing,” said Arin.

“Did you now?” Brian leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his knee pressed against Arin’s. 

Arin flushed at the contact - he could feel it, even through the denim. His face was so hot that you could have cooked an egg on it. “Y-yeah.” 

“Is it because the proximity to swamps and tourists makes people weird?”

“That’s probably a big part of it, I won’t lie,” said Arin, “But okay, here’s the thing.” He shifted in his seat, keeping his leg pressed up against Brian’s leg, and Brian pressed back, and there was some secret world going on under the table that Arin wasn’t even sure he understood.

But fuck it, he didn’t need to.

“I read this a while ago, so I may be wrong, but I _think_ it’s ‘cause, um, in a lot of states, newspapers aren’t allowed to really ask for details about certain things, but it’s legal in Florida.”

“So you’re saying that people do just as much weird stuff in other parts of the country.”

“Other parts of the _world_ ,” Arin interjected. “People do dumb shit everywhere.”

“I still think that Florida is its own exceptional thing,” said Brian. 

“Why do you think that?”

“I mean,” said Brian, and he was smirking now, “you’re from Florida, and you’re kind of weird.”

“You’re not from Florida, but you’re weird.”

“Not Florida weird.”

“Your stage persona is a silent murderous ninja, and your real life persona shitposts so much on our social media that we had to get someone else to do it.”

On second thought, maybe it wasn’t a good time to mention that he was Brian’s boss.

Shit.

Brian shrugged. “In this day and age, things are weirder everywhere.” 

“No argument here,” said Arin. 

“But I suppose I’m glad,” Brian, his voice quieter. “If things weren’t weird… then, you know, we wouldn’t have been able to meet.”

“Right,” said Arin, and he was blushing.

Brian cleared his throat, and their waiter came just in time to saving the both of them from whatever was about to happen. 

Arin let the waiter’s voice wash over the both of them as he described the specials, more interested in watching Brian out of the corner of his eye. There was a tree in front of the restaurant, and the wind shook the branches in a way that made shadows dance across Brian's face. It was doing things to Arin, things he didn't know how to put into words.

This was out of his league.

Brian was very good looking; Arin had known that from the get go. How could he not? But he was noticing more than the strongness of Brian's jaw, or the flash of his blue eyes. The line of Brian's profile, from his forehead to the patrician curve of his nose, over the curve of his lips, to his chin....

Arin was pressing his two fingers against his own lips, because he wanted to kiss Brian so badly..

"Arin?"

Arin jolted out of his daze, and he put on his best ‘talking to the public’ face. 

"Sorry, could you repeat it?"

"Sure," said the waiter, and the spiel was back.

Arin nodded at what he hoped were the appropriate moments, and then ordered what he'd planned on anyway - lemon mascarpone Fench toast.

Brian got steak and eggs, because of course he did. 

The shadows were still dancing across Brian's face, like some kind of wannabe noir cameraman, and Arin wanted to trace the line of shadow by Brian's eye, down to Brian's lips.

It kept going back to the lips.

_Goddamn_ it, but he wanted to kiss Brian's lips.He wanted to press his mouth against Brian's, and he wanted to kiss Brian the way they kissed on the covers of romance novels–

–not that he read a lot of romance novels, but they kept them in the little spinny wire racks by the checkout at the grocery store, so he ended up staring at them sometimes as he waited in line. 

His brain was chasing itself in giddy circles; it did that sometimes when he was overwhelmed or excited. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but there was still a lot of pure gibbering.

Arin took a slug of water, to clear his head, and then he smiled at Brian. "I'm sorry I keep spacing out," he said, and hopefully he sounded sincere.

"It's fine," said Brian. "I'm used to being around Dan."

"That’s fair," said Arin, and he laughed a bit in spite of himself. Dan wasn't exactly the most present person, between the years of marijuana and the baby keeping him up at all hours.

Arin looked at Brian, and did his best to be present.

It was the least he could do, right?

* * *

The food was, indeed, delicious.

Arin hadn't entirely been sure _what_ mascarpone was, and was pleasantly surprised to find it was a sweet cheese, which paired well with the lemon of the french toast.

There were pink curtains on the windows, and they were billowing. as the wind whistled by.

The place eventually emptied out as he and Brian just talked. They didn't even talk about anything in particular: various plans fro Grumps, for Starbomb, for their lives. They finished the food, got dessert, got refreshments after the dessert, until it had been three hours and the waiter was giving them pointed looks.

"Oh," said Arin, blinking. "When did that happen?"

"What, the passage of time? If you’re just catching on now, I’ve got bad news for you."

They were walking down the sidewalk now, close enough that their shoulders were almost touching. It was the heat of the day - everyone was inside, enjoying the air conditioning, and the street was more or less empty. 

"Want to go to the park, maybe look at the ducks?"

"If the ducks had any sense, they'd be inside," said Arin, wiping a thin shine of sweat from his forehead as they made their way to their cars.

"They're ducks," Brian pointed out. "They don't know how to make sense."

"Ducks are pretty weird," said Arin. "Holly told me a little bit about them."

"I assume there was discussion of their strange penises?"

"Yeah, she, uh... took a great deal of enjoyment out of that," said Arin. 

"Holly can be kind of twisted when she wants to be," said Brian. 

"She doesn't look it," said Arin. "I think parenthood just made her more perverse." 

“Holly has always had a perverse streak,” said Brian. “I think she just cares less about who sees it.”

They paused in front of their cars. 

“So, uh, where are we going?”

Arin named a park.

Brian nodded. 

“Meet you there?”

“Sounds good.”

Brian reached out, and he hugged Arin, a proper bear hug, and Arin hugged Brian back, squeezing him.

He wanted to kiss Brian, right here and now. 

This probably wasn’t the best time. But he still wanted to.

He wanted to so badly.

* * *

They sat in the park together, in the shade of a tree, and they watched the ducks paddle around. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I had feelings sooner,” said Brian, and he wasn’t looking at Arin as he spoke.

“I mean,” Arin said, “it’s not like there’s someone out on the edge of the world with a stopwatch timing us on how quickly we tell people when we develop feelings for them or anything.”

“Yeah, but… well. I don’t know.”

“I thought you knew everything, with your PhD and all.”

They were sitting close enough on the bench that Arin’s thigh was pressed into Brian’s, and Brian’s leg was warm. 

He was wearing khakis.

Of course he was wearing khakis. Brian was practically made in a lab.

But then again, so was Dan. Sort of.

“I think I have a dad fetish,” Arin blurted out.

“...What?” Brian looked at him sidelong, one eyebrow up.

“Not, like, a daddy kink,” Arin said quickly. 

“I’m not sure I’m clear on the distinction,” Brian said, in what Arin could only assume was his professor voice. “More to the point, are you saying there’s something wrong with a daddy kink?”

“Well, no,” said Arin. “Obviously, it’s a kink like any other kink, and maybe it can be problematic, I guess, but there’s nothing _objectively_ wrong with it, or even bad for your health. Unless you’re getting, like, Freudian, which I guess can be a problem, but I don’t really know enough about psychology say for sure.”

“I see.” Brian’s face continued to be blank.

Arin was gibbering inside and outside of his head. Great.

“I mean, it’s a weird kink, but there’s nothing… uh, there’s nothing wrong with weird kinks, if you like them. And who am I to say that a kink is weird? I know I’ve got some weird kinks, come to think of it.”

“Do you now?”

“Oh yeah, but it’s not like it’s something you can just bring up in casual–” Arin finally stopped and really looked at Brian. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” Brian said, and now he was grinning.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Arin blurted out, because fuck it, if he was going to be emotionally open, he was going to be emotionally open.

“Yeah?” Brian was flushing, which was unexpected.

“Yeah,” said Arin. “Actually, like, pretty badly.”

“Well,” said Brian, “do you want to ask me?”

“I feel like me saying that I want to kiss you is a little bit like me asking you to kiss me,” said Arin. 

“That’s more of a declarative sentence,” said Brian. 

“You’re trolling because you’re nervous,” said Arin, as the metaphorical light bulb turned on again. 

“I thought that was obvious,” said Brian, his tone flat.

Arin mad eye contact, and saw that Brian was blushing all the way down his neck.

Okay.

He could do this.

“Well, can I kiss you?”

“I don’t know, c–”

“I swear to fucking god, Brian, if you make a grammar joke, I will get up and walk away,” Arin growled, and he almost believed himself.

“Sorry,” said Brian, sounding reasonably sincere. Then he was leaning forward, and he was… 

He was kissing Arin.

Brian’s lips were dry and cool, and Arin sighed, pressing closer. He rested his hands on Brian’s shoulders, and when they pulled apart, they both looked a bit shell shocked.

“Um,” said Arin. 

“So you _can_ kiss me,” said Brian, and he was fucking smirking. “Fascinating.”

Jerk. Total, utter jerk.

Arin kissed Brian again, and he let it linger a bit this time. It was still closed mouthed, and they pulled apart after a few seconds, but they were both breathing, bright eyed.

“Um,” said Arin. “Oh.”

“Dan didn’t mention that you get monosyllabic post kissing,” Brian said, clearly amused. 

“I need some secrets, to keep up my mysterious aura,” said Arin, and he was grinning a bit in spite of his nerves.

“I’ll make sure not to tell anyone else,” Brian said, his tone solemn, and then he was kissing Arin again, soft and sweet, familiar and foreign. 

It wasn’t perfect, because nothing in life is.

But it was as close as something can be, and Arin held on to it. He held on to Brian with both hands, as he kissed Brian, and the sun beat down on them from the clear blue sky.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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